“I Suspect a Friend, Partner or Family Member Has Bulimia, but I’m not sure. What are the signs, symptoms or behaviors that I should look out for?”

Identifying bulimic people is not an easy task. Those who suffer from an eating disorder keep it a secret and are very good at hiding the effects of bulimia, even from the people they live with.

Look out for telltale bulimia signs. For example, do they avoid social occasions that involve the presence of food; have you found hidden food wrappers or come across a number of unaccounted food bills?

Locked bathroom doors and turning on the shower to mask the noise of vomiting (binge & purge), are an obvious give away. So is coming across unknown tablets, which may be laxatives.

Finding loved-one’s missing from their bed, only to find them coming back from the kitchen, with a weak explanation that they needed a drink of water. This may sound plausible at first – but if it happens on regularly basis then it is not surprising if you get suspicious.

If it’s your child, are they skipping sports at school, playing truancy or are they are being bullied? These may be bulimia tip-offs.

Here is a list of bulimia signs, typical bulimic symptoms and behaviors to look out for. No one item will mean they are bulimic, so look for clusters of supporting evidence, like:

• Often avoiding meals or eating with others. If they do eat, it is a calorie-controlled diet of some kind.
• Eating late at night or indulging in mid-night feasts.
• Habitually visiting the bathroom shortly after a meal and saying they need to have a bath, use the toilet or wash their hair. If this happens check the sink or toilet for any evidence of vomit, smell of vomit or heavy use of air fresheners in an attempt to mask the smell.
• Having notable and regular fluctuations in weight, often due to being on various diets.
• You noticing significant amounts of food going missing, empty packets and food wrappers may accompany this.
• You finding hidden food items or food stored in unexpected places.
• Being generally unhappy about their appearance and weight. Having an obsessive desire to be thin which is communicated through either their conversations or behavior.
• Having an obsession with food and cooking – for example knowing how many calories are contained in individual food items; or they know every way to cook a specific food; are genuinely curious about eating, they read all about it; they entertain everyone through food, but seen to be eating very little of it themselves.
• Having low levels of self-confidence, are moody and have a preference for being alone. Avoid socializing with family, friends and work colleagues.
• Increased activity levels, especially fitness and visiting the gym on a very regular basis.
• Weighing themselves more than once a day.
• Poor management of personal finances.
• General disinterest in life, frequent mood swings and are often depressed.

If you have identified clusters of some of the above bulimia signs or typical bulimic symptoms, chances are your instincts that a loved one is suffering from secretive bulimic tendencies, is true.

Learn about the different Bulimia Treatments

The answer is; discuss your concern with them. Don’t ignore bulimia signs and hope their binge & purge routines will go away or think that overtime they will grow out of their bulimic habits. They won’t and you will only get more apprehensive about the situation.

The problem for many people, who are close to a suspected bulimic, is that they are unsure about how to approach the person and the subject of bulimia. They feel duty bound to help them overcome bulimia but are afraid that if they do, they might damage their relationship.

To assist you with this situation, we have put together a list of positive steps to help you be proactive, do the right thing and maintain or improve your relationship.

Knowledge is the key in helping you take the right approach when confronting a suspected bulimic. Find out all you can about Bulimia;

• Bulimia signs
• Bulimia symptoms
• Effects of bulimia
• Dangers Of Bulimia
• Bulimia medical help
• Bulimia support
• Bulimia treatment programs

With an excellent appreciation of bulimia nervosa, you will find it easier to talk about and have a good understanding of what that bulimic person is going through.

• When you raise the issue of bulimia, do not criticize, condemn or complain. Your objective is to build a trusting relationship so that the person with bulimia feels relaxed and are able to confide in you.
• Find the right time to raise the topic of their binge & purge routines. Make sure there are no interruptions and explain that what ever they disclose about their bulimia, it will not be shared with anybody else.
• Air your concerns; explain how their suspected binge & purge routines has made you want to become involved in what is a very private and personal matter.
• You could start by saying, “Emma, I feel upset when you refuse to eat with us and you go and shut yourself away in your bedroom,” or “I’m concerned about you using laxatives everyday, I fear for the damage you are doing to your kidneys. Can we talk about it so we both understand what is going on for you?” Then be ready to truly listen, understand and empathize.
• If they open up and admit to binge & purge routines, do not make out that you are going to try and rescue them, save them, force them to have bulimia treatment or to stop being bulimic. Your role is simply to be a friend and be there for them. To help guide them on the road to bulimia recovery.
• At this point in time they are coping with Bulimia in the best way they can. Bulimia is already making their lives a misery; so avoid putting any unreasonable expectations, pressures or demands on them.
• Work with them to seek help or agree on how you can provide support or where to get non-medicated treatment for bulimia e.g. assistance with weekly food shopping, help them find a treatment or accompany them when they visit their GP.
• Jointly start a new hobby that may serve to distract their bulimic habits like dancing or walking. Suggest professional eating disorder treatments (Counseling, GP, Group Therapy, Self-Help, Alternative treatments for bulimia, internet based bulimia treatment etc)
• Be careful not to incite Bulimic behaviors e.g. do not give praise when weight loss is noted or criticize when weight is gained.
• Be prepared for denial or a refusal to be helped with their bulimia. Seek support for yourself; this will better enable you to deal with the effects of bulimia that arise from their binge & purge routines. You could simply take some “Time Out” or have regular conversations with a qualified counselor. Learning to deal with bulimia is vital.
• If you are a friend, letting someone else know that you are trying to help a bulimic (like a teacher if you are a student) may help to take some of the pressure off you.
• If you are a Parent, remove the temptation of binging and purging from the home environment. Don’t keep cupboards filled with typical binge foods such as sweets, candy, cakes, biscuits, chocolates, and so on… instead stock up with fruits, healthy cereal bars, nuts and fresh juices.
• Relax some of your own rules around food and body issues. Don’t force people to eat everything on their plate especially if they are bulimic. Give space for others to grow and be independent. Always provide love and affection.
• If you are a partner, remember to focus on the aspects of your relationship that give you both pleasure. Stay focused on the relationship not the binge & purge routines.
• Do not blame yourself for their bulimia. You did not cause the eating disorder; so you have no reason to harbor any guilty feelings.
• Be mindful of how you communicate your own perception of bulimia as well as weight, shape, diets and body image.
• Accept that bulimia recovery will not happen over night, be patient and continue to provide your support and care for as long as it takes.

Learn about the different Bulimia Treatments